Day Sixteen: Injurious Victory

Strange day today. I feel energised, run down, excited and relaxed. I'm blaming this on the internal feedback malfunctioning at the moment. Also seem to be coping really poorly with all the over stimulating goings on, I'm letting myself get carried away with it all.

Even I have no idea what I'm thinking right now

 No comment

So. I'm going to ignore all the garbage flying around in my head until my mind sorts itself out and comes up with some decent plans. I kinda wish all of life was as easy to deal with as physical challenges, I figure there are people out there with relatively normal social lives who wish they could go to the gym more and be a bit more dedicated to things like that. That means we're all looking over the bridge thinking, "Mmm. The grass sure looks greener over there." Or at least, stickier. My point is that I'm probably not alone, wistfully daydreaming about how much easier other personality types must find life. We all have our own personal challenges.

(unrelated cough) back to the goals.

Gym: Rest day. I considered going to the gym after work but I need my legs to recover. With all the Derby and Aikido I'm beginning to wonder about how to effectively rest my quads in particularly so they're not constantly fatigued. My gym membership expires on the 31st as well so I need to sort out what I want to do. I've become fond of Les Mills Britomart for various reasons but it's about twice as much as the local competition.

Aikido: No training today.

Derby: Public skate at Mount Wellington. There were a few of us puddling around, meeting some new people who are keen to join up in the next intake, it was great to be able to assist at the open session as I won't be able to help with the Maiden Voyage as much as I'd like. I wasn't as happy with my foot work as I could have been otherwise, and I still failed to win the limbo competition. Damn children. They have an unfair advantage of being short (although frankly, I dropped a knee instead of extending it so I only have myself to blame). Worked a bit on my hockey stops but wasn't really feeling it on the new floor. It doesn't help I was flooded with adrenalin - this happened at outdoor skates on Thursday too (but not the rink or skatepark session). Again, knowing I'm not the only one this happens to (normally inexplicably) does make me feel better about it.

Diet: Uhh. I'm writing this a day late so this'll be hard as I care very little about food and intake beyond it's fuel like qualities. Okay. Breakfast was date loaf, tea and biscuits, lunch was a rice bowl from Cocos because I was going to make a sandwich, but lo, I had no more meat or cheese. I wasn't amount to eat bread with hummus and avocado because that just sounded empty and disappointing. I had a beer for late afternoon tea and then... ah. Chocolate milk and a yoghurt for dinner after skating.

How I see food. Mmm, delicious.

I don't really feel anything was too unhealthy but I know I could have eaten more. I need the fuel and nutrients for muscle recovery but I don't get as hungry as would adequately reflect their requirements (childhood trauma - I eat cause I know I have to, not due to any internal signal). This goes against everything out there about diets as everyone else seems to be trying to lose weight, but I need to eat more than I want (if I feel like eating at all) - not a lot, but just more fuel for my body to burn up doing what it needs to do to recover my muscles faster.


Sleep: I'm beginning to suspect there are multiple issues with my current sleeping arrangement as I've had one passable good nights' sleep so far since being back home. I might try rearranging the furniture and swapping the duvet, see if that helps. Anyway, barely 6 hours, most of it patchy, much better dreams but still not really ideal. I slept in an hour past my alarm and considered calling in sick and staying in bed all day. But that happens most mornings and I tend to ignore it. Bed time was meant to be around 11pm and I probably could have made it, 'Just ten minutes of Dune 2' is never just ten minutes and I know it. So I went to sleep around 12.30am instead. Saving grace for myself is that the alarm for Saturday morning is set for 9am - but I woke up just after 8am because my system still doesn't like being asleep for longer periods of time than that. It's just the calibre of sleep that's getting to me.