Day Twenty: Resolutions, Refinement and... Conflict.

If you tilt your head, it kinda looks like a dancing stick figure,
and not the gnarled expression of horrible stress I'm trying to convey

Almost glad to be back at work, it's a nice distraction from everything else. Constructive day at work, but then first day always is, by tomorrow when more work piles up I'll get dismayed and go back to looking up pictures of kittens.






Fitness: Gym membership expiry today. And I didn't even go to the gym (something about 'expired membership' kinda gave me the chills). I went to off-skates training with Irn Bruja instead, where we pounded some pavement and then jumped around a bit. It actually was fairly tolerable, except for the sun in my eyes at one point, but it did have me thinking I could jog to Vicky Park and do my own off-skates on a semi-regular basis rather than going to the gym. There's even that work-out park bit at Vicky Park for idiots like myself who feel compelled to try and figure out how those metal contraptions are even meant to work, let alone not killing yourself on them. Maybe it will make it harder to assess improvements (I can't just say I added 10kg to my press) but then it's probably a more practical environment I'm developing skills in. We'll see. Maybe I need a gym to inspire me to work out (and did I mentioned Sushi Girl was spotted at Les Mills? Sushi Girl). Or maybe I can actually just do it in a free park and stop being so context driven. Also, if there are no punk kids around there's always a skate park right there too!

Aikido: I skipped Aikido this evening to do important reconnaissance. I feel a bit lame about it but from Saturday I have eight straight days of training from 8.30am till 9pm. I also feel a bit lame about knowing I'm going to sneak out during some of those days for someone's birthday drinks and to go skating (I mean, I paid good money for this boot-camp!). In a previous life, I could have dedicated eight days solid without interruption from other hobbies, friends or family, but apparently not anymore. Part of me wishes I could be that dedicated, another part of me is grateful I have other matters in my life I wish to attend to.

Derby: Off-skates isn't really ... or is it? Anyway. I need to do more hopping and one legged squats on my left leg. It will help improve it's balance. My right leg is significantly stronger and the balance on it, almost faultless. Really helped highlight my left leg deficits.

Diet: Work had this stressful sort of feel to it, so I had peanut butter toast and two cups of tea for breakfast. Then I had to buy more bread or get Subway for lunch... and so I got a foot long sub. I debated this, buying a sandwich or making my own. In the end, making my own would have taken up significantly more time and I was on a roll at work, and knew I wasn't going to be productive on Thursday or Friday (I can just tell when I'm going to be useless in advance), end result - Subway. A nice pre-off skates training snack. On the way home from off-skates (sorry for keeping you so late Bruja! eep) I swung by the supermarket for a pre-cooked chicken, bread, avocado, brie and hummus. I'm menu lazy, this is a stock standard sandwich for me but much better than the maccas that looms ever-so easily on the drive home. Damn but it was tempting tonight.

fuck you, McDonald's

  It'll be fine Rachel, you're training heaps, fit, strong,... you can have maccas occasionally... and you've been so stressed lately.... just think of it as a treat! 







Sleep: So I woke up at 6.30am because I remembered my phone was plugged into the computer and the alarm doesn't go off if it's in PC Studio mode. The alarm is set for 6.45am and as I rolled over, all I could think was, "Am I ever truly asleep? What the hell was that, like a conscious decision to wake up because I knew my alarm wouldn't go off unless I unplugged the phone?" It makes me doubt all manner of things, like if I even need sleep or if I just don't do it right. Seems to me despite being 'asleep' my brain was still fully cognizant of what was happening. Which makes me think the damn thing could be a bit more useful during the day!


But at least the last few days have been filled with the conversations that I needed to have, despite being filled with telling me what I already know. Sometimes you need to hear it, and admit to it out loud before things become a reality.